Dogs Outsmart Kids

Check out this article from livescience.com.

Stanley Coren, a canine expert and professor emeritus at the University of British Columbia has made it official: dogs are as smart as a 2 year old human when comparing language skills. Coren posits that Border Collies, Poodles and German Shepherds (in that order) are on par with a 2 and half year old. Even more interesting, dogs would outsmart a 3 or 4 year old in basic arithmetic.

Coren also reports that dogs are socially more adept than human toddlers too: "the social life of dogs is much more complex, much more like human teenagers at that stage, interested in who is moving up in the pack and who is sleeping with who and that sort of thing."

Interestingly, older breeds such as hounds and some hunting dogs scored lower on the intelligence tests. More recently introduced breeds score higher. Coren believes that there's a "high probability that we've been breeding dogs so they're more responsive to human beings and human signals."

Even with all this good news, Shadow, Jill's Poodle, is frustrated because he's been unable to type up an email to Mr. Coren outlining his objections to being ranked second. He's been muttering darkly about "opposable thumbs."

Science and Dogs

Science marches forward.  We can't really do anything about it -- but that won't stop us from complaining! In fact, Jill's husband (a pretentious fellow who used to dress like the Dieter from Sprockets) will quote classical philosophers about the problem until the two of us are rolling our eyes, nearly unconscious with boredom.  We're generally forced to talk about expressing anal sacs until we can't hear him talk anymore -- and just wait until you see that illustration in the book!

But that isn't to say he doesn't have a point.  Exhibit A: pet cloning.  Yes, we understand that you love your dog.  We love our dogs, too.  When they pass away, we cry and are inconsolable -- they are critical members of our families, and their absence is a vacuum in our lives.  But some people have read far too much science fiction, and believe that they can bring their beloved pooch back to life.

They can't.

Oh, to be sure, they can bring back a reasonable facsimile of the physical dog who used to play fetch with them in the backyard.  But he's not the same dog.  The life experiences that we have are what make us who we are.  Your dog (or even a clone of you!) will not be the same as the original.  He can't live the exact same life and have the exact same experiences to make him that original dog.  People don't appreciate that our genes are not our destiny.

Just a few deep thoughts to start the new year!